HOW TO LOVE THE UNLOVABLE

Why do some people act unlovable? Why do some people sabotage every attempt that others make to reach out and show them warmth? In fact, there is no simple answer to this question — for some, the cause may be a misguided fear of friendly interaction
, while for others, this behavior may stem from harmful past experiences or even from a disorder the person has no control over. Regardless of the cause, working to love a person who insists on being unlovable is one of the noblest (yet most difficult) things that someone can do. Show love to the people who need it more than anyone else by starting with .

1.Search for the good in this person. 

When dealing with someone that you consider to be unlovable, your first step should be to take a step back and try to reflect on the person as whole. Ask yourself: Is this person really unlovable? Does she actively resist efforts to love her, or is she just a little awkward and standoffish? Does this person really have no positive traits, or have I just not taken the time to look for any?" Try to think of ways — even small ways — in which this person has proven that they're not all bad. These can be minor acts of kindness they've performed, talents they've demonstrated, or even simply nice things they've said.

• Trying to love someone is much easier if you don't start by viewing them as "unlovable" to begin with. This is why it's such a good idea to look for some minor positive aspect of the person you're trying to love. By identifying this person's positive qualities, you're disassociating her from the "unlovable" label in your mind.

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