We don’t say this out loud, but deep down inside we
all want to be attractive. No, not with a fit body or the perfect face, but
having qualities that people feel magnetized to. Being the kind of person
everyone wants to be with and do favors for.
People do judge a book by its cover.
But, what if you could make people like you with
just your personality. Or better yet, with good habits?
I remember my heart jumped when I got a beautiful
bouquet of flowers one random day at work, not because it was from my boyfriend
or a secret admirer, but as a surprise. I soon discovered that it was my
close friend who’d sent me the unexpected gift, just because he knew how
depressed I felt after realizing my ex no longer cared about me. It wasn’t the gift alone
that made my whole week brighter, it was his thoughts.
The takeaway here? Don’t tell people what you’re
going to get or do for them because then they expect you to deliver. Give them
a surprise — it’s much more memorable and impactful than doing what you’ve
promised.
2. Say “no” when you (really) don’t want to.
People respect those who speak their minds, more so
than someone who always agrees with their request or invitation. Because when
you say “no” to others, people see how real you are, that you have priorities,
and can be honest about your feelings.
Yes, saying the “n” word might make your stomach
flip but if you can get past that feeling, you’ll start feeling good about
yourself.
If you don’t treat yourself like number one, then
others will treat you like number two.
3. Do something nice for a stranger.
Hold the door if their hands are full. Warn them
before they sit on a wet seat. Pick up their dropped cash. These are things
most people won’t do, but will give respect if you do.
4. Leave your ego behind and learn from those
who are better than you.
You can complain all you want about how life sucks,
and keep asking yourself, why am I not as smart, rich, likeable,
successful, influential, or as good-looking as my better unequal? But at the
end of the day, you’re not helping yourself grow. You’re not trying to become
better.
Take the time to study what makes others shine.
Practice over and over again. Ask if you need to. Because if you want to be the
best, you have to be willing to learn from the best.
5. Be curious about everything.
It’s fun talking with others, but the moment the
conversation dies because no one has anything else to say is when you start
getting bored of that person. Don’t be that person, the one anxiously looking
away while racking your brain for a good topic.
If you want to save yourself from that situation,
you got to make people curious about you and the only way is if you’re curious
yourself. Learn how things work. Ask yourself why people behave the way they
do. Read about what’s happening in the world right now.
Because when you have a dozen more things to say, we
automatically think you’re a smart and fascinating companion.
6. Stay calm when someone’s angry at you.
It’s not a pleasant sight to see someone screaming
angrily or lashing out in a destructive way. And sometimes we just can’t help
but lash back.
Don’t. Before you snap, take a minute to think about
the whole situation and why you’re feeling so angry. Maybe there was some
miscommunication between you two and maybe it’s best to stay calm and talk it
out. This is probably the best solution to understanding people better and
feeling more closely connected to them.
7. Start conversations with someone new.
Most of us feel scared when we’re away from our
comfort groups, which makes it easier for people to see who’s confident and
who’s not. For me, I’d always scout around for those who introduce themselves
to others, because I know they’re the types who are completely comfortable in
their own skin.
Break out of your comfort zone and talk with
somebody you’ve never met. You’ll instantly surprise them (see point #1) and
walk away with greater confidence.
8. Write a list on what you want to learn.
It drives me insane every time someone tells me that
they’re bored and have no idea what to do. Or if they waste their time sleeping
or watching TV all day.
Yes, people would tell me just “live in the moment”
and have fun, but to be honest, that’s a very short-term point of view. What makes you more attractive in the long run is
getting smarter and learning new things, everyday.
A suggestion I’d recommend that a friend recommended
me is writing a list of all the things you don’t know or have little knowledge
about. Update that list whenever you come across a topic that puzzles you and
research it when you have time.
9. Saying thank you.
It’s simple, overused at times, but still can make a
world’s difference to someone’s day. All it takes is a couple seconds to think
about and appreciate what you are given, even if it’s something small like a
hug.
Remember: Thank others when you really mean it, but
not to the point where you go overboard (otherwise it starts to lose its
meaning).
10. Make time for yourself.
If there’s one thing you can’t recover in life, it’s
time. That’s why people who are constantly busy doing things they like or can
improve on end up becoming more successful than someone who treats their time
as if it were a measly dollar — you can waste it in a flash, but it’s something
people use to build a life that’s worth living.
Remember, the most attractive thing about you has
less to do with your face and body, but more with your heart and habits.
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