Parents, Kids, and Discipline

 

How can you provide discipline to your child so that he or she can function well at home and in public? Every parent wants their children to be happy, respectful, respected by others, and able to find their place in the world as well-behaved adults. Nobody wants to be accused of raising a spoiled brat.

But sometimes it seems that these goals are miles away from your child's current behavior. Read on for barriers to good behavior, effective discipline techniques, and when to get help for dangerous behavior patterns.

What Is Discipline?

Discipline is the process of teaching your child what type of behavior is acceptable and what type is not acceptable. In other words, discipline teaches a child to follow rules. Effective discipline uses many different tools, like positive reinforcement, modeling, and a loving and supportive family. Sometimes, punishments are also an effective tool-but that doesn’t mean that good discipline is mostly about punishments. It sounds so straightforward, yet every parent becomes frustrated at one time or another with issues surrounding children and discipline.

Parents run up against barriers when trying to teach good behavior, like children who:

• Are disrespectful and don't listen: "I must have told you a thousand times!"
• Do listen, but defy or deliberately disobey your request for good behavior.

Your responsibility as a parent is to help your child become self-reliant, respectful, and self-controlled. Relatives, schools, churches, therapists, health careprofessionals, and others can help. But the primary responsibility for discipline rests with parents.

The American Mental Health Association describes three styles of parenting. Which is yours?

An authoritative parent has clear expectations and consequences and is affectionate toward his or her child. The authoritative parent allows for flexibility and collaborative problem solving with the child when dealing with behavioral challenges. This is the most effective form of parenting.

 

An authoritarian parent has clear expectations and consequences, but shows little affection toward his or her child. The parent may say things like, "because I'm the Mommy, that's why." This is a less effective form of parenting.

 

A permissive parent shows lots of affection toward his or her child but provides little discipline. This is a less effective form of parenting