BY MICHELLE HOMME
Moms of boys are a different breed and they have
different rules. Having raised three boys of my own, I have learned a few
things in the past 25 years that was never in the “what to expect” books when
they were little. There is just something different in a house full of
testosterone and non-stop activity. Maybe that child’s nursery rhyme about what
“little boys are made of” had a little truth in it after all.
The mothers of sons and only sons quickly learn
these 8 truths…whether they want to or not.
1. You will
have broken things in your house.
Sometimes, you will hear it and know about it right
away. Then the finger pointing begins and you need to decipher which one is
less apt to tell a fib. Other times, you will be dusting the mantle and notice
the glass missing from one of the picture frames. Only after an intense
“question and answer session” will you learn that the picture was knocked down
after playing football in the house. Who knows how long ago…don’t ask. You
really don’t want to know.
2. You will have
to start the conversation.
Never ask a question that will allow them to give
you a one word answer . “How was school?” will typically be answered with what
I heard time after time “Fine.” and I still didn’t learn when I asked, “What
did you learn?” which was followed up by it’s partner, “stuff.” Boys do not
like all of the details – they don’t care to store worthless information
like girls do. Get used to it…it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise if you
have any other men in your life. Let’s just say, the apple doesn’t fall too far
and leave it at that.
3. You will
have to show them how to clean a bathroom.
Girls are a different kind of messy – from hair in
the sink and tub to the countless bottles of hair products all over the
counter. Boys will continue to fill the trash can, as long as it is all in the
trash can. Even leaning against the wall counts as in the waste receptacle.
Somehow, the mirror seems to get toothpaste plastered all over it and don’t
even get me started on the biggest mess of all: the toilet. All three of the
boys denied making “the mess” around the toilet and I politely reminded them I
know it wasn’t me – I can’t miss.
4. You will
not know everything you want to know.
Those boys are in fact brothers. When they are
young, getting the other one in trouble gives them a sense of “one upping” the
other, but as they age, the are steadfast secret keepers. They will defend,
protect, and stand fast against anyone that threatens their brother, regardless
of the reason why. Teach them when they are young that you may not catch them
the first time, but you will catch them. But it is always fun to remind them
that although they may not know someone, chances are someone knows them so it
is like having eyes everywhere. I love it.
5. You have
to break up your share of fist fights.
Boys group up being rough and tough. You will break
up your share of fist fights over the silliest of things (in my house, it was
over the cartoon, “Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer”) and you won’t even need to
ask why. Because it won’t make sense. Ever. But the good news is that some day,
that same fist fight becomes something they actually treasure and laugh about
later. Don’t even get me started on “who broke who’s leg” either. There are
ALWAYS two sides to every story.
6. You have
to teach them how to date.
Believe it or not, the last thing your son wants to
hear is about what his parents did when they were dating. Yuck. Whenever my
boys were going to a dance, there were two rules that were not up for
discussion: You get her a wrist corsage and you match her dress. Chances are
she will pick more than that (like where you are going to dinner and what time)
because she has to get her nails and hair done. We need to show them how to
show how to care, how to be thoughtful, how to love someone else.
7. You
will never be told “I need you, Mom.”
My three sons are all grown and in college or living
on their own and the worst thing they could ever say is “I can’t do this on my
own.” We raised them to be independent, smart young men and for the most part
that is exactly who they are. But they still don’t have all of the answers yet.
But they don’t want you to worry, so they phrase questions that sound more
“hypothetical” in nature. Like you just fell off the truck yesterday. When they
are sick and tell you they don’t need anything, it means they don’t want you to
worry. Deep down, they still need you…they just don’t want you to know it.
8. You will
see “adjusting” going on — no matter what.
Okay…let’s go there. We all know it happens. Living
with four males for the last 25 years has taught me one thing: “it” has to
be adjusted multiple times a day. I don’t understand it. Most women I know
neither. But we never talk about it. But if we are talking about truths, there
it is. No shame in being real, right ladies? It happens. No lie.
There you have it – the 8 truths every mom of sons
will learn at some point. And no matter how old those boys get or how far they
move away, we can turn on “Mama Bear” in an instant, especially when our baby
boys are hurt. Maybe these truths are a little more than we bargained for, but
this is better than nothing. One of the most simplest of truths I have heard
about moms of boys is “Mothers of boys work from son up to son down.”
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