Is Love Enough In Marriage?

I have been asked this same question repeatedly from intending couples and singles "Is Love truly not Enough to Endure in Marriage"?

Hmm, well

This phrase "Love alone is not enough to keep a marriage" depends on how you perceive it.

I'll explain to us today, how I perceive it and the truth about that phrase above.

As much as people say love is not enough, trust me, Love is the number one reason why anyone wants to get married.

You meet that one special person and something about them strikes you and wants you to decide in spending forever with them. Love drives your decision

After entering into the marriage, The only time you think love is never enough is when you are not INTENTIONAL about that love.

Marriage helps you see finish, so if you are not intentional about your love, you begin to ask yourself why and how you got into that marriage in the first place

You begin to question everything you stand for. Intentionality helps you stay put

That's why you hear some married couple tell you that, although their partners have lots of flaws but they are willing to look past that flaw

Why? The reason is simple

They are intentional about their love.

If you love a lady simply because she is slim, by the time she becomes a mother and her shape changes, you'll get irritated because you have put a clause to your Love, you have refused to be intentional about that love you have or felt when you met newly.

Now listen, this post is not for those going through emotional and physical torture in their homes.

As an abused person in your home, the only way you can be intentional about your love is by *Speaking up".  Seek help for yourself and your abusive spouse

Don't put your life at stake and say Valerie said we need to be intentional about our love..

Well, that being said

Love is enough if you decide to be intentional about it and your intentionality begat your commitment to such marriage.

If you say love is not enough, then you probably don't understand when God says he loves us.

Despite our sinful nature and lifestyle, God still decides to be intentional about his love for us, that is why the bible tells us that, He rejoices over one sinner that repents. He rejoices because even as sinful as we are, he still does not want us to perish, As holy as he is, he still cares for us and wants us to turn a new leave

LOVE IS THE BED ROCK OF ANY SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND DON'T FORGET *GOD IS LOVE*

If God is in the centre of your marriage/Relationship, you'll understand that being intentional about your love to your spouse will come easy to you. 

LOVE IS ENOUGH, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOUR INTENTIONALITY BEGAT YOUR BEING COMMITTED

©Valerie Nwoji

The Deceit of Courtship

I was led to Re-share this particular article this morning for someone out there.  I hope it helps...

The saying that "love is blind" is true but marriage is the tool to open the eyes of blind love.  You will discover the real personality of man after marriage. He/she could do anything to impress you in courtship.  You may have a list of his good deeds,  generosity,  and good qualities while you are yet unmarried,  but marriage is the true ground for the assessment of a man. 

A man could pretend to be anything but himself until he gets hooked to you in marriage. That is why many people complain and regret that the lamb they courted has turned into a lion in marriage.  The fact is that he has always been a lion,  only that he was hiding in a lamb's skin. Don't be deceived. 

It follows then that if courtship which ought to bring out the best in a partner brings out the worse in him or her,  what happens in marriage?  If your courtship is characterized by quarrels,  what do you imagine of your marriage if you go ahead in the relationship. A broken courtship is better than a broken home. Your courtship predicts your marriage and the rest of your life. 

There may be sincere disagreement in courtship which are not strong reasons enough to break relationship with a partner. But for a courtship to be so full of troubles that  you are almost getting suffocated is enough to break the relationship in order to remain alive. 

Courtship is a period,  in the journey towards marriage, when a prospective partner tries to be  his or her best.  It is the testing ground for survival or failure of the future relationship. The courtship that is already full of troubles and quarrels to settle calls for fresh prayer.

Take heed.

Valerie Nwoji

Certified Marriage and Relationship Mentor

Self Love

Following the rule of "Love your neighbour as yourself" You will realize that self love is very important. 

We were never instructed to love our fellow men more or less than we love ourselves but it as much as you love yourself you extend that same love to your fellow being. If you don't love yourself enough, how else do you want to love someone else?

Answer this sincere question, I'll be expecting your answer in the comment box

©Valerie Nwoji

The Power of Being Single Before you say I do

The truth is, there's so much benefit in being single that people often overlook. We should be appreciating it instead of feeling awkward about it. When you’re not legally bound to another person, you have more opportunity to learn, grow, and explore also freedom of time usage compare to when you are married.  This gives you more opportunity for self discovery. 

One of the greatest deceit in singleness is to assume marriage will meet our unmet needs, solve our weaknesses, organize our lives and unleash our gifts. True marriage is beautiful but the truth is marriage doesn't make your life any less easy. 

Remember that,  you have purpose regardless of your marital status,  so your status as a single person shouldn't stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You've got so much power within than you know.

You have the power to choose who crawls into your life,  who you want in your space, You still have the power to choose the kind of partner you desire and how best to work on yourself and things around you. 

See,  You've got so much power within you.  All you need to do is PUT IT TO GOOD USE.

©Valerie Nwoji

Photo credit: Pinterest

Dear Fine Girl

Greatness looks good on you. 

Don't let anyone make you think or feel otherwise. 

 

You can and should rise to the top of the ladder of success. 

It won't make you proud, it won't make you rude to your husband. It won't make your husband your doormat. It won't break your home, as long as you don't allow it. 

There's greatness in you. 

Stop playing small. 

Stop looking down 👇 on yourself. 

You're meant for the palace. 

Your future is endowed. 

Dream those big dreams 

Get those scary goals and pursue them. 

Be everything you can and should be. 

That's why you need to marry a man who will love that greatness to limelight. 

You need a man who will not cover your light. 

Congratulations to 

 Ngozi Okonju Iweala 

Do more than get married 

Rise to prominence 

Prepare for the palace 

©️ Adeniyi Simeon

We Matter

 One of the many lessons I have  learnt so far from everything happening around us now (From the pandemic down to the protest and how the government choose to react) is that We are Powerful, Powerful in and out more than we know. 

While reflecting on how powerful we are as an individual and also as a body,  this song from Jussie Smollett and Alicia Keys came to mind

and the meaning become more clear to me on a deeper level. 

 Lyrics

Powerful,  there's so much strength in you and me 

Powerful,  A breath away from victory

I matter

You matter

We matter

We are indeed Powerful and We all Matter

©Valerie Nwoji

Negativity Begat More Problem Rather Than Solution

I remember when I was working on a particular project back in school,  for each solution I provided then,  I had this friend that kept saying,  "I don't think this solution will work". He kept giving me more problems to each solution I provided.  Eventually I got tired and did not work on that project. 

Being the kind of lady I was, (I detest giving up,  I always wanted to say I tried but failed or I tried and succeeded)  I took up that project again but this time went straight to my lecturer and asked for some advice, he told me what to do,  then I went to another course mate of mine (Alex) and he gave me 1001 other ways to get the project done and even offered to help if I needed anything else. 

Eventually,  I got the project done successfully😀

Now,  the message here is.  Move away from negative people because they always have problems to every solution you provide.

PS: (Don't discard  negative people totally because most times,  their words make you want to achieve more and be better for yourself).

© Valerie Amaka Nwoji

MEN ARE NOT APP

You  can't download a man from palm play or  play store! 

Haven't you stay too long in your unnecessary confinement? 

Few men with unusual balls could have the the audacity to knock on your door and ask after you from your parents, especially from your dad. 

Haven't you learnt that Rebecca had to go to the well to tend water to some stranger's camel before she could meet her destiny husband? 

Enough of all these extra dignity charades and obtuse disappearing act from where your beauty can be seen! 

If church could have the capacity to tender spiritual needs, then why appear there physically and in your best outfit? 

My dear, maximize your potential to your full benefits. Flaunt what you've got but with utmost modesty. 

It is time to be at your best since every first impression matters. 

The eyes   see faster than the heart! 

Why sit under shades when the sun is enough for drying? 

Gone are the days that your over inquisitiveness and stringent attitude will be a yardstick for choosing a God fearing and ready made husband material. 

The millennial man has a short fuse, average perseverance and low tolerance for extreme stringency by female folks. 

Get up girl and put up the desired appearance.

Let these son of Abraham sees the Sarah lying beneath you. 

Lastly, be realistic in your expectations. 

Don't be desperate but exploit spaces to your advantage. 

Expect the least and embrace the likely. 

 *MEN ARE NOT APP* 

©️ *Adeniyi* *Simeon*

THE STORY OF LAGOS

Dear devout Lagosians, on the strength of the torturous experience people endure nowadays, i want you to keep in mind that,  some have promised or better yet planning to move out of Lagos only to return when the need arises probably to grace an occasion or for an official assignment/engagement.

And it is not even as if the easthetics on the Victoria Island is really appealing anymore like that. 

Let a torrential rainfall that lasts 20 minutes engulf its terrain and watch everywhere transmogrify into a swimming pool. 

 *Traffic and flood... The story of Lagos*

©️ *Adeniyi Simeon*

Saying No Doesn't Mean You're Bad

Saying yes is a good thing mostly. But learning how to set boundaries & say no when the need calls for it is key to healthy relationships with others & yourself! Saying yes to everyone leads to stress, being overwhelmed & burned out. So listen to your body & don’t feel guilty! Avoid overthinking. Don’t read too much into things.

Don’t delve and dig into something looking for issues when there are none or at least not obvious. Don’t complicate things when they’re really quite simple and easily understood. Remember, simplicity is part of faith.How often do you stop and think of just how blessed you are? The constant desire for more prevents us from being truly content with what we already have.

Learn to be grateful for where you are in your life right now. Try it. You will see the difference! Gratitude is key!

Early Morning Thoughts

 Rise above hate and flee from the intuition that everyone dislikes you. 

Stop playing the insecurity game!

Irrespective of your gender, religion and ethnicity. Stop roaming under the caution that you might be hunted. 

Being a Nigerian is scary enough for us to contend with. It should warrant pity when included in any Cvs ( Curriculum Vitae) 

Just don't fan the flame of hatred lest it becomes an inferno. 

Getting too conscious can deprive you of that necessary freedom, sometimes, learn to enjoy criticism. 

It gives you a pretty idea of where you stand. 

Nevertheless, enjoy yourself per time, make restitutions and be resolute. 

©️ *Adeniyi Simeon*

The Proposal

Some of us couldn't or rather not all men will go down on their knees to propose. 

It is neither pride nor a misogynistic idea but the truth we've not come to embrace. Enough of this lofty dreams surrounding proposals in recent times. 

I still want to know the rationale behind women wanting their men to go down on their knees and propose in a broad-day light like a pre-planned drama. You just want to scream and pepper your friends by your numerous uploads right? Or you feel your dignity is justified as a lady for a man to drop his ego and pop your most anticipated and so called the big question with a bended knee? 

It is not written anywhere in the book of affection that a man who does all these things makes a good man or a good father, at least not that i know of. So what the heck? 

Let your man do this in his own discretion. It shouldn't be your template, script or act. 

Dear beautiful, you don't have to copy friends to pressure your man to do some certain things. This public show sometimes leads to disgrace. What about preferring your man to send a post-man to deliver your ring with a beautiful note that expresses his affection? Why don't you prefer him to surprise you in the committee of friends without causing much public traffic? What is strong in him expressing his heartfelt words over a table-for-two? 

Be more creative than being a public disaster!

Some of we men prefer the secrecy, we believe all that stays there thrives. Never a weakness as most of you presume!  Isn't it still better to choose the old-bride format devoid of drama and trauma by not exposing unnecessary lots for public consumption? 

He is on his knees or not is never a determinant for his truest character. Love and its proposal comes in different format, see beyond the conveyor but his message. It pays sometimes to drop the unnecessary expectations and the shenanigans of proposals. 

The 'must-do' script  you've already written and acted in your mind. Who cares what happened during the proposal? Your critics will still show for your party rice. 

The earlier you know it's both of you against the world, the better. 

Air your opinion on this article 

 

©️  *Adeniyi Simeon*

You Are Greater Than You Know

Monday's Motivation

Whatever has a definition has a limitation. God can't be defined, he is just too mighty, he cannot live inside me and I remain small, for greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world.

I just want to share with us this morning that,  whatever it is you think you can't do or can't achieve, always remember that God cannot be the ruler of your life and you remain at a spot.

The power to carry on,  the grace and inspiration to achieve things,  God is ever ready to grant it unto you. 

Tell yourself this simple but powerful words today and always;

I am untouchable, unseeable, unholdable and unblockable, but you can not deny my impact in your life.

Amaka Nwoji

Self Discovery coach 

Content Writer

Relationship Mentor

IT'S ALWAYS TOO SOON TO QUIT

Failure is only final if you let it be. The key is to learn from our failures. The man who has never made a mistake has never made anything. Learn to say "I'm down, but not out".

Vincent Lombardi said; "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up again".

Failing so many times should not bother you, but failing and not getting back up on your feet should. For every mountain - there is always someone at the top managing that mountain. Learn to climb that mountain and get to the top, don't relent till you get to the top of that mountain.

Edison failed at his first 1,000 attempt to develop a light bulb. When asked if he was discouraged, he replied " No, I am now well informed on 1,000 ways you cannot do it".

The greatest failure in life is to stop trying

Note that; 

1. To fail is not to be a failure - Remember winning isn't always being first.

2. Once you've learned from your failures, forget them.

3. You are never a failure as long as you keep trying - better to fail attempting great deeds than attempt nothing and succeed.

4. Failure is never final - unless you allow it to be. The choice is yours to make, you can either play it safe or get up and fight another round.

Your desire for excellence will always want you to appear excellent

As a self discovery coach,  I have discovered that many do not know what next to do or how else to go about things when they fail once or twice. 

• Do you want to become an author but afraid on how to go about it.? 

• Are you afraid of that interview you want do simply because you don't have enough experience? 

• Are you afraid that you are not good at anything? 

You don't need to  worry further,  I have put together for you a lifetime opportunity of learning how to take total control of your life at anything in various field you desire. 

Click on the link below to register

https://chat.whatsapp.com/KisonGc1e01CkDyLxZZqJC

Don't miss out from this opportunity

LOVE ALL NOT GENDER SUPPORT

In my opinion,  the chant "women supporting women" is just a gaslighting and manipulative statement as far as I'm concerned. 

I would not support *ANYONE* man or woman if your values or whatever you're doing does not align with the values of God's Truth And Righteousness that i subscribe to (And i expect the same of others towards me too which is why i can't find myself begging anyone to support me) 

It is good to support women, men or anyone irrespective of gender, race or class, but my support is not going to be because you're a particular gender but because i can truly support whatever it is you represent without searing and going against my conscience. 

What we owe everyone is "Love" *NOT* "Support"

Stop feeling entitled to people's support. 

In this life, some people are called to support you and some are not, it is not that they don't like you, what you do or what you represent as a brand, they just aren't called to support you.

Take no hard feelings *QED.* 

So, do yourself a favour and live without feeling entitled to the support of others and especially for all the wrong reasons, such as gender.

©️ *Adeniyi Simeon*

Let's hear your opinion on this article. Are you for or against it. 

Never Say Never

3 things you can't recover in life: The MOMENT after it's missed, the WORD after it's said and the TIME after it's wasted🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵

Knowing all this, What then can stop you from pursuing and achieving your dreams? What can stop you from delivering your message to the world?  What can stop you from leaving a footprint in this world?  What then can really  stop you from making a difference in your own unique way? 

Ask yourself sincerely,  Will I let discouragement,  rejection,  confrontation,  lack of support,  environment,  financial incapacitation or family background stop me from achieving all I really want to achieve in life. 

Listen!  There is absolutely nothing that can stop you from becoming who you need to be or fulfilling your dreams,  only you, Yes you!  can stop yourself.  

For failure is categorized into two classes: The class of him who thought but never went into action and the class of him who went into action but never thought. 

Never say Never

Let us know in the comment section if you found this helpful. 

AVOIDING THE 5 MINUTE MADNESS...

There is a popular story that have been trending for a while now,  let me share it with you.

As a carpenter went home after closing from his workshop, a black, poisonous cobra entered his workshop.
The cobra was hungry and hoped to find its supper lurking somewhere within. It slithered from one end to another and accidentally bumped into a double-edged metal axe and got slightly injured.
...

In anger and seeking revenge, the snake bit the axe with full force. What could a bite do to a metallic axe? Instead the cobra's mouth started bleeding.
Out of fury and arrogance, the cobra made to strangle and kill the object that was causing it such pain by wrapping itself very tightly around the blades.
The next day when the carpenter opened his workshop, he found a seriously cut, dead cobra wrapped around the axe blades.
The cobra died not because of someone else's fault but faced these consequences merely because of its own anger.

                 ******************

Sometimes when angry, we try to cause harm to others, but as time passes by, we realise that we have only caused more harm to ourselves instead.
For a happy life, it is best we learn to ignore and overlook some things, people, incidents, affairs and matters.
It is not necessary that we react to everything. Step back and ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding or reacting to.
People that shows no inclination to change, are best handled with silence and time.

‪#‎AngerManagement

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