Is Love Enough In Marriage?

I have been asked this same question repeatedly from intending couples and singles "Is Love truly not Enough to Endure in Marriage"?

Hmm, well

This phrase "Love alone is not enough to keep a marriage" depends on how you perceive it.

I'll explain to us today, how I perceive it and the truth about that phrase above.

As much as people say love is not enough, trust me, Love is the number one reason why anyone wants to get married.

You meet that one special person and something about them strikes you and wants you to decide in spending forever with them. Love drives your decision

After entering into the marriage, The only time you think love is never enough is when you are not INTENTIONAL about that love.

Marriage helps you see finish, so if you are not intentional about your love, you begin to ask yourself why and how you got into that marriage in the first place

You begin to question everything you stand for. Intentionality helps you stay put

That's why you hear some married couple tell you that, although their partners have lots of flaws but they are willing to look past that flaw

Why? The reason is simple

They are intentional about their love.

If you love a lady simply because she is slim, by the time she becomes a mother and her shape changes, you'll get irritated because you have put a clause to your Love, you have refused to be intentional about that love you have or felt when you met newly.

Now listen, this post is not for those going through emotional and physical torture in their homes.

As an abused person in your home, the only way you can be intentional about your love is by *Speaking up".  Seek help for yourself and your abusive spouse

Don't put your life at stake and say Valerie said we need to be intentional about our love..

Well, that being said

Love is enough if you decide to be intentional about it and your intentionality begat your commitment to such marriage.

If you say love is not enough, then you probably don't understand when God says he loves us.

Despite our sinful nature and lifestyle, God still decides to be intentional about his love for us, that is why the bible tells us that, He rejoices over one sinner that repents. He rejoices because even as sinful as we are, he still does not want us to perish, As holy as he is, he still cares for us and wants us to turn a new leave

LOVE IS THE BED ROCK OF ANY SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND DON'T FORGET *GOD IS LOVE*

If God is in the centre of your marriage/Relationship, you'll understand that being intentional about your love to your spouse will come easy to you. 

LOVE IS ENOUGH, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOUR INTENTIONALITY BEGAT YOUR BEING COMMITTED

©Valerie Nwoji

The Deceit of Courtship

I was led to Re-share this particular article this morning for someone out there.  I hope it helps...

The saying that "love is blind" is true but marriage is the tool to open the eyes of blind love.  You will discover the real personality of man after marriage. He/she could do anything to impress you in courtship.  You may have a list of his good deeds,  generosity,  and good qualities while you are yet unmarried,  but marriage is the true ground for the assessment of a man. 

A man could pretend to be anything but himself until he gets hooked to you in marriage. That is why many people complain and regret that the lamb they courted has turned into a lion in marriage.  The fact is that he has always been a lion,  only that he was hiding in a lamb's skin. Don't be deceived. 

It follows then that if courtship which ought to bring out the best in a partner brings out the worse in him or her,  what happens in marriage?  If your courtship is characterized by quarrels,  what do you imagine of your marriage if you go ahead in the relationship. A broken courtship is better than a broken home. Your courtship predicts your marriage and the rest of your life. 

There may be sincere disagreement in courtship which are not strong reasons enough to break relationship with a partner. But for a courtship to be so full of troubles that  you are almost getting suffocated is enough to break the relationship in order to remain alive. 

Courtship is a period,  in the journey towards marriage, when a prospective partner tries to be  his or her best.  It is the testing ground for survival or failure of the future relationship. The courtship that is already full of troubles and quarrels to settle calls for fresh prayer.

Take heed.

Valerie Nwoji

Certified Marriage and Relationship Mentor

Self Love

Following the rule of "Love your neighbour as yourself" You will realize that self love is very important. 

We were never instructed to love our fellow men more or less than we love ourselves but it as much as you love yourself you extend that same love to your fellow being. If you don't love yourself enough, how else do you want to love someone else?

Answer this sincere question, I'll be expecting your answer in the comment box

©Valerie Nwoji

The Power of Being Single Before you say I do

The truth is, there's so much benefit in being single that people often overlook. We should be appreciating it instead of feeling awkward about it. When you’re not legally bound to another person, you have more opportunity to learn, grow, and explore also freedom of time usage compare to when you are married.  This gives you more opportunity for self discovery. 

One of the greatest deceit in singleness is to assume marriage will meet our unmet needs, solve our weaknesses, organize our lives and unleash our gifts. True marriage is beautiful but the truth is marriage doesn't make your life any less easy. 

Remember that,  you have purpose regardless of your marital status,  so your status as a single person shouldn't stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You've got so much power within than you know.

You have the power to choose who crawls into your life,  who you want in your space, You still have the power to choose the kind of partner you desire and how best to work on yourself and things around you. 

See,  You've got so much power within you.  All you need to do is PUT IT TO GOOD USE.

©Valerie Nwoji

Photo credit: Pinterest

Dear Fine Girl

Greatness looks good on you. 

Don't let anyone make you think or feel otherwise. 

 

You can and should rise to the top of the ladder of success. 

It won't make you proud, it won't make you rude to your husband. It won't make your husband your doormat. It won't break your home, as long as you don't allow it. 

There's greatness in you. 

Stop playing small. 

Stop looking down 👇 on yourself. 

You're meant for the palace. 

Your future is endowed. 

Dream those big dreams 

Get those scary goals and pursue them. 

Be everything you can and should be. 

That's why you need to marry a man who will love that greatness to limelight. 

You need a man who will not cover your light. 

Congratulations to 

 Ngozi Okonju Iweala 

Do more than get married 

Rise to prominence 

Prepare for the palace 

©️ Adeniyi Simeon

We Matter

 One of the many lessons I have  learnt so far from everything happening around us now (From the pandemic down to the protest and how the government choose to react) is that We are Powerful, Powerful in and out more than we know. 

While reflecting on how powerful we are as an individual and also as a body,  this song from Jussie Smollett and Alicia Keys came to mind

and the meaning become more clear to me on a deeper level. 

 Lyrics

Powerful,  there's so much strength in you and me 

Powerful,  A breath away from victory

I matter

You matter

We matter

We are indeed Powerful and We all Matter

©Valerie Nwoji

Negativity Begat More Problem Rather Than Solution

I remember when I was working on a particular project back in school,  for each solution I provided then,  I had this friend that kept saying,  "I don't think this solution will work". He kept giving me more problems to each solution I provided.  Eventually I got tired and did not work on that project. 

Being the kind of lady I was, (I detest giving up,  I always wanted to say I tried but failed or I tried and succeeded)  I took up that project again but this time went straight to my lecturer and asked for some advice, he told me what to do,  then I went to another course mate of mine (Alex) and he gave me 1001 other ways to get the project done and even offered to help if I needed anything else. 

Eventually,  I got the project done successfully😀

Now,  the message here is.  Move away from negative people because they always have problems to every solution you provide.

PS: (Don't discard  negative people totally because most times,  their words make you want to achieve more and be better for yourself).

© Valerie Amaka Nwoji

MEN ARE NOT APP

You  can't download a man from palm play or  play store! 

Haven't you stay too long in your unnecessary confinement? 

Few men with unusual balls could have the the audacity to knock on your door and ask after you from your parents, especially from your dad. 

Haven't you learnt that Rebecca had to go to the well to tend water to some stranger's camel before she could meet her destiny husband? 

Enough of all these extra dignity charades and obtuse disappearing act from where your beauty can be seen! 

If church could have the capacity to tender spiritual needs, then why appear there physically and in your best outfit? 

My dear, maximize your potential to your full benefits. Flaunt what you've got but with utmost modesty. 

It is time to be at your best since every first impression matters. 

The eyes   see faster than the heart! 

Why sit under shades when the sun is enough for drying? 

Gone are the days that your over inquisitiveness and stringent attitude will be a yardstick for choosing a God fearing and ready made husband material. 

The millennial man has a short fuse, average perseverance and low tolerance for extreme stringency by female folks. 

Get up girl and put up the desired appearance.

Let these son of Abraham sees the Sarah lying beneath you. 

Lastly, be realistic in your expectations. 

Don't be desperate but exploit spaces to your advantage. 

Expect the least and embrace the likely. 

 *MEN ARE NOT APP* 

©️ *Adeniyi* *Simeon*

THE STORY OF LAGOS

Dear devout Lagosians, on the strength of the torturous experience people endure nowadays, i want you to keep in mind that,  some have promised or better yet planning to move out of Lagos only to return when the need arises probably to grace an occasion or for an official assignment/engagement.

And it is not even as if the easthetics on the Victoria Island is really appealing anymore like that. 

Let a torrential rainfall that lasts 20 minutes engulf its terrain and watch everywhere transmogrify into a swimming pool. 

 *Traffic and flood... The story of Lagos*

©️ *Adeniyi Simeon*

Saying No Doesn't Mean You're Bad

Saying yes is a good thing mostly. But learning how to set boundaries & say no when the need calls for it is key to healthy relationships with others & yourself! Saying yes to everyone leads to stress, being overwhelmed & burned out. So listen to your body & don’t feel guilty! Avoid overthinking. Don’t read too much into things.

Don’t delve and dig into something looking for issues when there are none or at least not obvious. Don’t complicate things when they’re really quite simple and easily understood. Remember, simplicity is part of faith.How often do you stop and think of just how blessed you are? The constant desire for more prevents us from being truly content with what we already have.

Learn to be grateful for where you are in your life right now. Try it. You will see the difference! Gratitude is key!