1. Disturbance in the marriage as the
primary reason
When there are regular fights at home with his wife, which are
left unresolved, a pattern sets in wherein he continues to be unhappy and
‘disturbed’. In this kind of a scenario, either he can fight or he can flee.
When he looks for an affair, he is looking to flee from dealing with the issues
in the marriage, and be comfortable with that ‘other person’. It is telling
oneself that the problems do not affect anyone and life can continue in a
better way with a parallel support.
Some men may find the routine of a married life to be tedious
and dull. These men find it easier to shift dominance or primacy to another
relationship and feel the spark outside to be a thrilling option; instead of
finding ways of charging their marriage. It becomes present moment for
gratification versus the hard job that they will have to do in their marriage
to resolve an issue. The extra-marital relationship provides them with a ready-made and fresh experience, which is appealing enough to take the risk.
3. Cheating men love to experiment sexually
Sex has always been and will always be an integral part of a
marriage. While some men are quite content spending the rest of their lives
having sex with the same wife for many years, others prefer to experiment more
as a need, rather than as an option. They want to sleep with many women, many
times, and therefore do not think twice before an extra-marital alliance. It
perhaps makes them feel sexually powerful and more adept than others.
4.
Cheating men are emotionally dissatisfied
When their wives are too busy with their own lives, working or
bringing up children or even looking after in-laws and parents, emotionally,
men are left high and dry. But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want
their wives to show them that they’re appreciated, and they want women to
understand how hard they’re trying to get things right. Most men consider it
unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are
often overlooked. Sometimes the couple may not be compatible so however much
the wife may do, the man will always find something to complain about. It may also happen that the woman he
cheats with is his co-worker or boss, someone who praises him, looks up to him,
and compliments his efforts. That’s another reason why it’s so critical that he
feel valued at home.
5.
Cheating men have a history of EMR
Some men, in their childhood, may have witnessed cheating in
their parent’s marriage. This somewhere gives
them a message that it is okay to cheat, even though deep inside they know this
is wrong. All of us learn from our parents, so taking the risk is good enough.
This acquired learning also happens through cheating resorts taken by elder
siblings, neighbors, peer group and everybody who has been impacted. Sometimes
as teenagers and young adults, some men have had multiple relationships, these
men either intentionally or accidentally end up going back to their
ex-girlfriends. The other lot goes back to their past style of having multiple
relationships. It is well said, what a mind thinks, achieves. So there are
females also who are either consciously or unconsciously looking for such men.
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